Ambien. No doubt about it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
