they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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