Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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