I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
