So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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