being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
