my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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