dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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