Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
