And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
