I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
