I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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