I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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