Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
