we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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