yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
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I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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