i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
