I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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