Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
