Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize