'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
