I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
