YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
