Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
