We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
