STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
