So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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