Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
