He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
