i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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