i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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