my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
