When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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