Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
