peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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