I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
