He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can text with my tongue
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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