seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
