C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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