i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
