We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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