it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
