Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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