i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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