Don't make out with my wife yet
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
