So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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