Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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