I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
