Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
