I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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