Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
