Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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