He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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