Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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