break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
only you would photoshop your dick
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You left your phone here
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