my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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