if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
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Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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